Today I really don't have much to say. I have so much jumbled up in my head that I thought I would just start typing and see if I can sort some it out.
Time... there's never enough time. Last year flew, and besides a couple of classes I didn't do very much. I always had an excuse. Always said ok well I'll do it tomorrow, but never even got close to it. My baby is turning 5!! The time just flew. I have my oldest 3 that in a couple of months will be 12, 15 and 16. My husband and I have been married for 16 years. That means 16 years ago I began a new chapter in my life. One that made me have to grow up very quickly. I learned what sacrifices my parents made for us and how the love of your children can over power you. I went from being a very quiet shy sheltered child. Who never did anything outside the box I was placed in, who would let people walk all over to an over protecting mother who would protect her family from anything. I am pretty tough. I do have a don't mess with me attitude, and I think that for a long time I needed that. I am now trying not to push so many people away, but its not that easy. I didn't grow up asking for help, and learned how to figure everything out myself, and I was even worse when I had kids, and got married.
I have been with my husband for 17 years and we have raised 4 beautiful talented smart children together, but we were consumed in raising them. We poured everything we had into them, and I do not regret it. I just didn't think I would blink and I'd have my oldest with only 2 years left in high school, and the others follow really close behind, except of course the baby, but she's more of a it takes a village to raise a child kind of kid. She is a handful, and I do need help with her, but she has such a big heart. Anyways I don't want another 17 years to fly by. I want to show my kids that its ok to live life. I'm not a partying kind of person, and neither is my husband. So I want to figure out something to do. It won't be easy because my husband isn't too keen on trying new things so we are going to start slowly. I keep saying I am going to do a mini get away, but I never plan it. so I will start there. My husband's work hours are from 9;30 pm to 7;30 am, well that the time he leaves and comes home. Then he sleeps. Once he wakes up the kids are usually home. So we have a hard time finding some quality time with one another. I am ok with it and I think he is too, but I don't want to fall into the routine. After 17 years we still hold hands when we are out and about or driving or even just watching tv. He still makes me smile when he passes by me at church looks at me and gives me a little smile. Reality it I never thought we would make it this far, There were too many things coming against us, but here we are still standing still united, and still grateful that hes my other half.
I don't know how I started talking about that. I am tell you guys I have so much floating around in my head. Anyways I have come closer to making a decisson and I think I want a piercing ... but on the ear so no one freaks out. lol
It is almost midnight I cant believe the day is almost over. In fact the week is pretty much finished as well. It is crazy. Time isn't going to stop so lets not let it beat us. It's time to cash in on some of those dreams we been putting on hold!!
