Hey guys!! I know I didn't get online yesterday, but I was drained and came home after spending the night at the hospital by my fathers bedside. I got home bought some groceries and crashed out. I mean I hit that pillow and I was out. My kids told me this morning laughing that I was snoring so loud you could hear me all over the house... little brats lol. I didn't even make it to church this morning! It felt good to be able to sleep like that, but I did miss the fellowship.
Yesterday my middle child showed me a drawing she was doing. It's not quite finished so I wont post it until it is done, but it brought so much conviction to me. I have been asking God a question... If you have a title, lets say a pastor , and sin. But I don't mean gossip and cursing ( although I know all sin is sin), but like really turn your back on everything you preached, everything you believed everything that you lived for many many years. If you turned your back on everything, and lived a life of what you use to say was sin... could you ever really be saved again? The Bible talks about double accountability.
So yesterday my Anahli showed me her drawing, and I asked her to explain it to me. She said the black in the corner can you see what it is. I said it looks like a angel. She said yes it's a fallen angel with chains. I'm like oh cool. Grant it she's 11, and we have not really spoken in depths about what fallen angels are. She said... I was at church and this image came to my head, but I haven't finished it yet. I still need to draw the hand of God coming out of the sky reaching out for the angel.... and it was like BOOM!!! I almost began crying. It was said in the simplest way. Without me saying anything out loud. I was minister unto while my guards were down. I wasn't expecting that. Out of the mouth of babes!
Today a lot of things came to my attention, and maybe if this had happened 2 years ago I would have reacted differently, but today I just laughed and said they are fighting a battle they brought up on themselves, because I would never waste my time going to war with any of them. Not because I'd lose... haha no, but because my God has been preparing me for this for the last 2 years. I know my place and where I belong, and the fact that its being done behind my back... as they think I am unaware... makes me happy, because that means they know my place too, and the authority that comes with my birth right. So I turned it to something else. The reason the devil hasn't stopped attacking me so hard these last couple of years. The reason I feel like I cant catch my breath before I move on to the next fight is because he knows my place as well. He knows that the moment I speak I will bring out an authority that my heavenly father has placed over me. One that I have ran from my whole life. It's time I use my voice. Its time I put to practice the gift God has given me. It's time for me to speak. I'm a fighter that's who Ive always been, but I'm not here to fight in the natural. I'm gonna let God take care of that because no one messes with Gods anointed. I am here to fight in the spirit and take authority over things that are out of place. I understand what that means. A lot better then a lot of other people, and there was a reason why I ran, but it ends here. I am not saying everything is going to happen over night. I am saying its time to take my place.
I know this year won't be easy. I know I have a lot I am going to have to face, but I am really excited. I honestly feel like these last two years I have been in the fire, and burned, but out of those ashes I feel a new fire igniting. My mothers favorite mythical animal is the phoenix, and honestly that's how I feel now. It is the way his refiners fire works. I need to stay in that fire even if its too hot to stand … that's why you will find me on my face before him!
