So after the hard pill I had to swallow the day before I had to go through the day not being irritated. One of the questions in the devotional part was, " If you are walking under the influence of love, you will be joy, not a jerk. Ask yourself, " Am I a calming breeze, or a storm waiting to happen?" ' - The Love Dare
So as much as I wanted to read that part over and over out loud so that my husband would get convicted LOL I still had to ask myself that question... AM I A CALMING BREEZE??? There was no way I could say I was. I'm always on the defense. I'm always waiting for an attack and ready to fight back. So I said lets work on myself first before I start pointing fingers. The chapter goes on to talk about selfishness. I don't consider myself a selfish person. So I was convinced it wasn't talking about me. Until it broke it down. Selfishness wears a lot of masks... Wait what!
It then goes on to list LUST, BITTERNESS, GREED and PRIDE. Oooouuuuccchhhh That one was new.
Todays Dare was to make a list of areas where you need to add margin to you schedule, and then release and selfish motivations that need to be released for your life.
Margins in my schedule what does that mean? So I had to look it up. Apparently it's when you have to create space in your life to rest. Weather its just a cup of tea or coffee or an afternoon off... So I have been trying to figure that one out. I haven't had a chance to actually write it in my planner. I was flipping through my planner and realized that I have one day off with nothing to do and it's the 29th of November. The day my husband asked me to be his girlfriend. BUT we are in October!! how did that happen. So Although I haven't been able to actually write it down, I have been taking time off here and there. Making sure I get at least 30 min a day of time off. I started realizing that even my time to study the bible was a must on my agenda. It was no longer some relaxing time with just me and God it was more of a I need to finish my homework kind of thing. And I wondered why I wasn't getting anything from my time with God … He wont be rushed and fit into a schedule!
Selfish motivations was harder to do though. Like I said I don't consider myself to be a selfish person. But I started realizing that had more to do with my pride, and not wanting to admit that I was at least a little selfish. So I sat down and made my list. Which was not fun!!
Day 7: Love believes the best... This chapter talks about appreciation and depreciation. Talks a lot about controlling your negative thoughts about your mate and replacing them with positive thinking. It says that the negative thoughts may be true, but we have all fallen short. We are humans. Mistakes will be made, but its not worth dwelling in them.
"It's time to move into the Appreciation Room, to settle down and make it your home. As you choose to meditate on the positives, you will learn that many more wonderful character qualities could be written across these walls. Your spouse is a living, breathing, endless book to read. Dreams and hopes have yet to be realized. Talents and abilities may be discovered like hidden treasure. But the choice to explore them starts with a decision by you." - The Love Dare
Todays Dare was to get 2 sheets of paper and spend a few min writing positive things about your spouse on one , and negative things on the other. And put them away for another day.
This one was hard for me because I it was uncomfortable for me to sit down and intentionally write bad things about my husband. I have always tried to uplift him.. its when I'm angry that bad things come out, and I know that's the point of the dare, but it was not any fun....
I'll say it again... These dares are getting harder and harder.... not because I cant do it for my husband, but because its making me face my faults and even though the book acknowledges that he has faults …. it brings it right back to me. Making me see my faults before I judge his. ...Pray for me.
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